


Suffocating silence

by orphan_account



Series: Welp, it seems that i have obtained a feels hammer. Time to smash shit up with it. [1]
Category: Shall We Date?: Obey Me!
Genre: Angst, Gen, Hurt Belphie, Hurt/Comfort, Lucy Is Trying His Best Okay?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-01
Updated: 2020-06-01
Packaged: 2021-03-02 20:29:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 676
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24492799
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Lucifer needed to get something off his chest.
Series: Welp, it seems that i have obtained a feels hammer. Time to smash shit up with it. [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1769398
Kudos: 48





	Suffocating silence

He... He never had to do this before, not once during his thousands of years of life. Back before he turned, he'd seen plenty of angels do it and even now, while in Devildom, he'd seen many demons lower themselves and apologise.

So why was this so  _ hard _ ?

Lucifer lifted a delicate, gloved hand and unconsciously fixed his fringe. His mouth set into a frown and his brows knitted into a worried knot.

It was all so stupid, the situation that is, he should have enough nerve to walk into his youngest brother’s room and say what he needed to say. But here he stood, outside Belphegor's room like an unsure youngster.

He dragged up the last of his courage and lightly rapped on the old weathered door. However, after a moment of pause, Lucifer sighed. He was being snubbed. He was sure Belphegor was awake, he’d only just returned form class after all. 

He felt a pang of irritation but quickly dismissed it. This wasn’t the time for pride to get in the way. Lucifer clenched his hand around the door handle before he swiftly opened it and stepped into the room, expertly balancing the tray he held with his other hand.

Warm yellow light spilt from the bedroom and softly encased his body, highlighting the lazy dust particles that floated through the air. However, the silent beauty of the room was all but ignored, in favour of the demon that slept on the bed.

Lucifer internally sighed. This was going to be much harder than he thought. He pursed his lips and muttered, "I know you're awake, Belphegor."

Only silence greeted him. 

He pinched the bridge of his nose and let out a long-suffering sigh, "Please stop with this childish tantrum, you can only ignore me for so long."

But once again, he was snubbed.

Lucifer stood awkwardly, unsure of what to do next. He was sure his plan would’ve worked because ordinarily, they always did. His instincts wanted nothing more than to reach out and hug his brother, but he knew it would be unwelcome.

So instead, he took a few unsure steps forward and knelt down beside the bed, placing his peace offering on the floor. He wanted to speak, but any words that he wanted to say got clogged in his throat, unable to escape.

"I...I'm sorry." He finally managed to force out. Once those few words were uttered, it was like a dam finally broke inside of him. Words tumbled free in a barely comprehensible jumble.

"I'm sorry that I locked you away. I'm sorry that I lied to our brothers about where you were. I'm sorry that I didn't help you get past your hatred of humans. I'm sorry that I left you alone. I'm sorry that sleeping became your only escape from isolation."

Lucifer felt his shoulders hunch as panicked breaths escaped his lips.

"I'm sorry that I let you suffer for so long."

He drew in a heaving breath and allowed something to escape that he kept hidden for hundreds of years. 

"I'm," his voice cracked and his eyes burned with unshed tears. "I'm sorry that I wasn't there to save Lilith."

Once again, suffocating silence roared within his ears and drowned out any excuses he could’ve come up with.

Lucifer sighed deeply and forced new air to flow throughout his body and stood up. He set the plate of cookies and milk he brought in on the bedside table and took a few steps towards the door. 

However, he paused one last time, hesitance lacing his every move. Lucifer made sure his back was turned to Belphie, this one he couldn’t say to his youngest brother’s face. Not now, not ever. He ignored the way his shoulder shook and choked the words out.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you the truth about what happened to her."

And with that, he left.

* * *

Once he was sure Lucifer was gone, Belphegor cracked open an eyelid, sighed and grabbed a cookie. 

Maybe it  _ was _ time to start over.


End file.
